Most of us grow up with the pressure of “needing” success.
We say things like:

  • “I need to hit 7 figures this year.”
  • “I need to close this deal or I’m done.”
  • “I need to make something of myself — fast.”

But let’s pause for a second.

Do you really need it?
Or do you just want it?

That single shift — from need to want — can change everything.

The Dangerous Weight of “Need”

When we say “I need to make a million dollars,” what we’re often doing is loading ourselves with unnecessary desperation. It clouds judgment. It creates panic. It forces rushed decisions — in business, relationships, and even personal growth.

Need feels like survival.
It tricks your brain into believing you're in danger unless you get what you’re chasing.

But you’re not in danger.

Water is a need. Shelter is a need.
Everything else? That’s a want.

Wanting Is Powerful

Unlike need, want is clear-minded. It’s rational. It allows for patience, strategy, and long-term thinking.

When you say “I want to make a million dollars,” you’re being honest. You’re grounded. You’re not chasing it out of fear — you’re building toward it with vision.

Want gives you power.
Need gives you panic.

What We’re Teaching Our Kids

Here’s the real danger:
When we use the word need constantly, our kids start to absorb that energy too.

They begin to believe:

  • “I need to be rich or I’m a failure.”
  • “I need to be liked.”
  • “I need to be perfect.”

We’re setting them up for anxiety. For burnout. For feeling like they’re never enough.

Imagine if we taught them:
“You don’t need to be anything. You’re already enough.
If you want to do big things — that’s amazing. Let’s do it together.”

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

I’ve made big mistakes in business. Almost every time, it was because I thought I needed to do something.

  • I needed to buy that building.
  • I needed to expand fast.
  • I needed to prove myself.

In hindsight? I didn’t need any of it.
What I wanted was growth.
But what I acted on was desperation.

That shift — understanding the difference — is the reason I now make calmer, smarter decisions. And it’s what I hope to pass on to the next generation.

Final Thought

So ask yourself:

  • What are you chasing out of need?
  • What would it feel like to turn that into a want?

Because the second you stop needing everything,
you might just start getting what you actually want.

Rabbi Ricky Cohen
1 August 2025
5 min read

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